Repentance

Repentance
I Repented, that's why I'm a happy godless slut now.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Good, Bad, Ugly (But... I Want Beauty): Brief Personal Notes


I'm not actually writing about anything today. This was something that actually started as a fb update a couple of days ago, got too long & introspective, and so got copied into a note on my phone. I am now spewing it here for lack of a thought in my pretty little head.

Extremely busy the past few days at work. I'm learning. It doesn't feel like it's fast enough, but I am learning.

In other areas of life, it feels as though... well, that it's a rough, gravel fucking road & I'm ill equipped for the travel. Or maybe it's more that there's good, there's bad, and there's ugly right now, and all I want is the beautiful.

And yet on another hand, I look back at this weekend and think of how awesome it was. Did I mention that I got to actually meet and talk to at least three of my absolute favorite bloggers? That I sat and talked to one of them for a good hour before I realized that I was talking to her and husbandish?

And then I also think about what I missed last weekend, too; there is a palpable ache there. So many things all held in tension in moments in time, from one moment to the next. I try to capture them, hold them, release them, let them be what they may be.

And a very happy birthday to one of my beautiful, amazing daughters. I wish that I could have been there.

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Post script. As I went to get the link for Daisies and Shit above before posting this, I saw my name there... and I was confused for a moment. Then I read. Then I squeeeeeeee'd. OH. MY. SHIT. One of my favorite blogs just mentioned me. I may be a little excited by that. A bit.

Also, rest assured, she did not forget anything; I did not mention that I blogged during that conversation, which in retrospect, may have been because I'm too goddamn shy about that stuff, I was thrilled that I was talking to her and husbandish, I was tired, and blah blah blah.



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